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His nod is one of grave understanding and gratitude. "Thank you then, milady, for saving me from myself. To think, I would have continued my days, meditating, trying to teach patience to the perpetually-impatient, and amassing knowledge and wisdom such that I would rival the greatest Jedi Masters. Truly, it's a horrible fate, and I am in your debt for rescuing me."

It is now that Obi-Wan is struck with the thought he's been unable to capture, that niggling doubt and worry he's been suppressing since arriving here, alone with Padmé. Now that he is relaxed and enjoying her company, it is as clear as the lake they're overlooking.

The thought is this:
He could easily find himself falling in love with her.

After all, this conversation proves just how easily they can get along as friends, how well they enjoy each other's company. He isn't sure if it's a true premonition through the Force, or merely his trained talent for seeing patterns and outcomes, but he can see it happening easily, as smooth as glass.

And he can't let it.

Padmé has a long career as a senator ahead of her, and Obi-Wan is her protector. More, he is a Jedi Knight: despite being assigned to one person for the rest of her life, he cannot allow his emotions to cloud his judgment. Friendship is one thing, but love, a real relationship, even if she were amenable, goes against everything he's been taught.

Obi-Wan's smile slips slightly, but he turns to lean on the railing beside her, looking out over the horizon, hoping she will assume his mind has simply wandered to something else.

The truth is, currently he's not sure he could think of anything other than her.
It is the opposite of what he needs to be contemplating.

It's only the levity of the conversation as a whole that keeps her from apologizing. While the life he describes is one that she would never understand, she knows it is the way of Jedi and she has taken him from it. Some of it will continue as expected, but so much of his life will be different from now on - he'll forever be tied to her career and where that takes her. This arrangement is meant to be until one of them passes, but-- Well, it's not unheard of for divorce to happen in these marriages, should circumstances change. She makes a mental note to discuss that with him later, to make certain that he understands that despite the agreement the Council made for him, she would never hold him if he wanted to go.

She cares far too much about him to ever do that.

Watching him for a moment, taking in the way he looks out at the water, she does assume that his thoughts have strayed. "I think I'll leave you for now and unpack my things," she announces easily, turning back to the glass doors. "And it will be dinnertime soon -- do you have any special requests?"

Startled at her sudden retreat, he looks at her with slightly wide eyes. Even if she speaks casually, even if she doesn't suspect where his thoughts lie, there are no coincidences. He feels poorly for being the reason they're no longer sharing easy conversation and banter. "Padmé--"

What will he say to her? What can he say to her, that won't ruin this moment even more than his sudden epiphany already has?

Obi-Wan shakes his head. "No. No special requests. I have an adventurous palate and strong stomach," he jokes, giving her a smile that, while not as happy as before, is just as sincere.

If he can keep this, he could be happy. This, and nothing more, and he would still be happy.
It's a thin ledge, but he will try to walk it.

The way he says her name -- it's as if he thinks he's done something, or that she's leaving for reasons that aren't true. It only lasts a moment before his joking returns, but that moment tugs at her heart and she wants to chase that feeling away from them both.

"Well, don't worry, I'll try not to test the strength of your stomach tonight," she assures him, reaching out to take his hand in her own just long enough to give it a gentle squeeze before letting go. "We can save that for tomorrow."

The smile she flashes him is bright and full of promise of more to come. "You can stay here if you like, or go wherever you please. This is our home for the next week, nothing is off-limits." And she meant it - he is her husband now, her protector, and he has free reign of the spaces they now share.

His smile widens affectionately at her teasing, but her reassurance makes him feel once again awkward in the situation.

"I'll probably go down to the lake and sit for a while." He glances back over the balcony. "It really is beautiful here."

Meditating, it seems, will continue to be a large staple of his life, for the foreseeable future. At least here, he can let his senses spread out and encounter nothing but wilderness and nature, and Padmé.

Maybe he'll practice focusing his Force-sense directionally. He could probably use the extra training.

"It really is," she echoes, following his gaze for a moment and almost wishing they could stay here forever. Almost. They both have work to do out in the galaxy though, so for now this will just have to be what it is -- a brief vacation from their responsibilities and nothing more.

"I'll see you in a few hours, Obi-Wan." And with that, she departs, moving easily through the house that she knows so well. Of course, it's really more than just a 'house', but it's home as much as her parents' estate in Theed, and so to her it is just a house. Her room is on an upper floor that she'd already shown to Obi-Wan when they'd dropped off their luggage (not that he had much of it at all), the room beside it designated as his own for the week.

It doesn't take long at all to unpack, the dresses hung in the wardrobe and other items placed in the drawers, and then she heads back downstairs to the kitchens to prepare their dinner. The fresh vegetables from a nearby farmer wait on the center prep table and she gets right to it, falling into the serene space of working with her hands.

Obi-Wan takes just a few moments longer to gaze out at the lake and grounds, allowing Padmé time to make her way through the manor. He once again finds himself admiring the house as he walks leisurely through it, hands tucked into the sleeves of his robes.

He means to head out to the lake, or the garden on the side of the house, but instead finds himself standing just outside the kitchen opening, watching Padmé confidently prepare dinner. In moments like this, she's far away from the former Queen of Naboo, or even the current Senator for the planet; and yet she still bears that competence he sees in her frequently. It's something he's admired in her whenever their paths cross.

When he finds himself wondering if love is really such a detrimental emotion to feel for another person, he decides it's high time he start the meditation he told her he'd be doing, and heads out and toward the lake. He settles into the familiar position, and just the act of sitting this particular way has his mind calming down and his thoughts quietening. He soon finds himself in that space between lost and hyper-aware, his physical senses ignored while he lets himself feel his surroundings through the Force.

Fish, plants and all manner of creatures in the lake; birds, insects, reptiles and amphibians along the banks and in the flora surrounding the house; Padmé in the kitchen, a calm well of drifting thoughts and steady emotions. Even the manor itself has echoes of life surrounding it, a testament to the personalities that have inhabited it over the years. He likes the fact that the house feels warm, owing to the love and happiness that's dwelt there.

Time passes, but Obi-Wan takes no note of it.

Not once in the course of his observation does Padmé notice Obi-Wan's presence, her focus so intent on the precisely chopping the vegetables and mixing the dough for the bread. Her hands covered in flour, the workspace more of a mess than it really should be, the process is its own form of meditation, her thoughts calming as time slowly passes.

It's only when both bread and stew are in the ovens that her mind begins to wander again, everything circling back to her present situation with a certain Jedi, no matter where her thoughts had started. Politics, personal relationships, each path led to Obi-Wan Kenobi -- what they are, what they could be, what all of this will mean for the both of them. This isn't the first time she's thought over any of these things, but now that they've spent more time together...

She does care for the Jedi, and can easily see them becoming close friends in this new life together. Hopefully that's something that he wants, something that will be of benefit to his life rather than a detriment. She says a small prayer to the gods she'd learned of as a child that this never becomes something he regrets.

The timer goes off for the bread first, then the stew not long after, and she leaves the both of them cooling on the stove to find her errant Knight, taking the path off the back of the kitchen down to the lakefront.

As the time passes, unnoticed by the Jedi, Obi-Wan allows his thoughts to peacefully drift, inspecting each as it floats through his head, but leaving them mostly uncensored. He's long since learned how to deal with even dark, negative thoughts constructively. (Something he wishes he knew how to teach his apprentice.)

Now, his thoughts circle around friendship, the bonds formed between individuals and how emotions can enhance or detract from his duty. How his duty has shifted significantly, but not actually changed: he's still charged with protection of those around him, but now he must center that protection on one individual before others. If, for example, Padmé and the Chancellor are together when there's an attack, Obi-Wan's duty is now to protect Padmé first, despite the Chancellor being of higher rank and influence politically. It's not so different than before, but even just putting her above others inherently means that he will be focused more on her at all times, and that's before factoring in that they will be living and traveling together all the time, constantly influencing each other's actions and thoughts.

There is nothing he can do to prevent his feelings for her from growing, and if he tries to stop them, it will very likely lead to frustration and anger, perhaps even resentment toward the Council or Padmé herself. It's the antithesis to all he was taught, but he was also taught never to hold one life above another, for all life is sacred and a part of the Force. But the fact that they have a week alone together tells him growing a bond is expected. So he will take this time, learn to relax and get used to being, if not in the same place, at least constantly by the same person's side. When he has the chance, he will speak with Master Yoda and ask for his counsel.

Becoming aware of changes in the environment, he senses Padmé moving toward him. He slowly comes back to himself, and notices more time has passed than he expected; his body begins registering that he's hungry, and while he's used to discomfort, his backside isn't entirely pleased to have been sitting lotus-style on the hard ground for so long. Obi-Wan stands and brushes off his robes as Padmé draws near, looking toward her and smiling peacefully in greeting.

She'd been able to see him from a distance as she descended the steps down to the lake's edge; he'd looked peaceful, calm and comfortable in his space. It's the impression she'd always had of the Jedi growing up, hearing stories of them and catching a few in passing while on Coruscant. Now that she knew quite a few of them... Well, it's truer for some than others, that's for certain.

"Dinner's ready if you are," she informs him in an easy tone, returning his smile with one of her own. "I may have made too much for just the two of us, I'm usually cooking for an entire family."

She always helped in the kitchen when she was at home in Theed, preparing meals for her parents and Sola's sweet family. Occasionally her niece and nephew would help and she'd be reminded of her own childhood.

"Of course," Obi-Wan responds easily,moving up beside her. In what feels like a bold move, he reaches out to place his palm at the small of her back for a moment, just until they have turned back toward the manor. It's an easy, familiar gesture, polite, but still feeling strangely intimate.

To cover his apprehension at the move, he says "If it is too much, I'm sure it will keep long enough for left-overs or a late snack. I tend to never refuse food, for I've learned never to assume it will be readily available at a convenient time."

It might feel bold to him, but it's normal for Padme. She's been surrounded by bodyguards and handmaidens for the last decade, all of whom have had their own brand of close, familiar gestures. It feels right to her, and she follows her instinct to maintain that closeness between them by looping her arm through his as they ascend the steps.

"That's a very practical mindset to have, especially in your line of work," she comments without an ounce of criticism. She is completely sincere in her assessment. "I'll endeavour to make sure you are fed well and often in our time together, at least."

The boldness only comes from the fact that it is not necessary to guide her in such a fashion. He merely wants to touch her, however fleeting and innocently, to see just where the boundaries for this marriage are, in his mind and heart, as well as hers.

His experiment seems to pay off, when Padmé takes his arm; another platonic gesture that he enjoys, and recognizes enjoying it for more than what it (almost certainly) means. Friendship, he tells himself. Friendship is the base to build anything else on.

"Please, don't do that," he tells her with a small laugh. "I will grow to resemble a Hutt, and what sort of bodyguard would I be then?"

He turns his mind away from the idea of 'our time together,' because that time will be for the rest of their lives. Unless, of course, at some point in the future Padmé quits politics, no longer requires protecting, and no longer wants his company. It is a possibility, and one he will face with calm poise, as befits a Jedi, but it is not one he wishes to expect as a given.

Edited (More to say) 2018-08-19 14:10 (UTC)

She remembers the Hutts from her time on Tatooine, and the mental image of him growing to that size makes her laugh brightly. It's a hilarious idea and strikes her as far more amusing than it really should, but another thing stands out to her that she can't not share with him.

"You would still be a wonderful bodyguard, my dear Jedi, and I would still adore you," she assures him with a small squeeze to his arm. "But since you are correct that you might not be quite as effective in your duties, I'll simply have to feed you and give you reason to work off all those calories."

Her first thought of such activity are more death-defying adventures, the likes of which she tends to get herself into on diplomatic missions that always seem to go sideways (as do his own from what she's heard), but for just a moment her thoughts stray to other activities equally well-known for being a good workout. It's a miracle that she doesn't turn completely scarlet at the thought before careening her mind back to adventures outside the bedroom -- she would never expect that of him when this arrangement is purely of business with the benefit of friendship.

(But she would also not be displeased if things took that path.)

Obi-Wan cannot help the happiness he feels at Padmé saying she adores him, and still would no matter what he looked like. He adores her too, and considers her a good friend; it's what could grow from that that he's unsure of, and of how aware she is of how her words could be construed.

It takes a slow, measured breath before he can turn his mind away from the thoughts her last words have conjured - and because he has so recently finished meditation and is still very connected to his surroundings, he feels Padmé's embarrassment, and can only surmise that she's also noticed how her words could be taken.

He decides to stay within familiar teasing territory as they enter the manor, and says "I should hope you would still adore me, as it would be your fault - and your cooking - that would make me grow so large you would have to roll me around everywhere." His free hand instinctively moves up to hers on his arm and gives it a light squeeze. "Of course, then you could just use my body as a barricade should the need arise, and I would still feel useful."

It is because she adores him that her thoughts have wandered so. Padmé has never been one to take casual lovers, and her attempts at romantic relationships have always been curtailed by her partner's career and her own dedication to serving her people. But this, this thing that have found themselves whirled into, has changed the stakes. No longer is it one or the other, because they are one and the same.

Another laugh bubbles out of her at the completely ridiculous image he has conjured in her mind, and she's grateful they've reached the top of the steps, otherwise she might well have tumbled down them amidst her giggles. "Well, so long as we have a plan," she manages while catching her breath, opening the door to the kitchens and unleashing the scent of the vegetable stew and freshly baked bread.

"I thought we might eat down here," she explains, gesturing to the small wooden table set up at the side of the room, clearly meant as a spot for the cooks to rest in between duties. "There's a formal dining room upstairs, but I must admit it's a bit too formal and imposing." This is much more her style when she's not at a diplomatic function or talking business with a fellow politician.

Her laughter is always wonderful to hear, and a small, pleased smile graces Obi-Wan's face that he could make her sound so carefree. He tightens his arm slightly against his side, to help steady her as she laughs while entering the house.

Looking toward the cozy sitting arrangement, he nods his agreement. "Yes, when it's just the two of us, standing on ceremony seems a bit silly." He glances at her clothes, elegant and refined. "Although I believe you'd be dressed for it, in any case."

Obi-Wan had only drunk broth that morning, too anxious to want anything solid, and at the public reception that was more formality and networking than anything else, he'd stayed away from the rich foods; the smell of the homecooked meal reminded him that he hadn't eaten anything substantial in a while, and while his body could go on, it would really rather not have to forgo nutrients, thank-you-very-much. "It smells amazing. I fear for my waistline even if you don' feed me at every opportunity."

She's glad that he agrees with her suggestion, though she'd been fairly certain he would. Everything about Obi-Wan seemed to radiate an element of practicality, and while he had handled himself well at the reception that morning, she could tell that it was not his natural element. No, he'd seemed far more at ease in nature itself, and they seemed well-matched in their appreciation for simpler moments such as this.

"If it's any assurance, I don't often bake sweet things," she offers, taking plates and cutlery out of one of the cupboards and carrying them over to the small table. "So that, at least, will work in favor of keeping your trim figure."

Not that one could see much of his figure under those robes...

He intercepts the second dish before she can place it for him. She has cooked the meal, he doesn't want her waiting on him as well; he's her husband now, not her guest.

"Well, that is fortunate." He stays standing until Padmé sits herself. "What do you usually cook? From the looks of this meal, I'd wager you enjoy it, and so probably do it when you get the chance." He wonders how often she's gotten the chance, being elected Queen at a young age, and becoming Senator after that.

It's automatic for her to take charge of any situation, so it takes a moment for her to relinquish that position and simply have a seat. He isn't a guest, but he could have easily expected these roles to be upheld despite their respective statuses - it's reassuring that he doesn't. Those backwards ideas of the roles of men and women that she's seen on various planets have never sat well with her.

"I do enjoy it," she confirms, spreading a cloth napkin out over her lap in proper fashion. "I always helped in the kitchen when I was little, and while I haven't had much time to spend there over the last few years, I still take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself, especially when I'm at my family's home." Her home no longer, she reminds herself; they will have to secure their own apartment in Theed now, she couldn't ask him to stay with her family whenever they're on the planet.

"Stews are easy, and often found in traditional Naboo cuisine. I also enjoy making savory pastries, and bread." A fond smile blooms into existence as she picks up the still-warm loaf and tears off an end, the crisp crust giving way to expose the fluffy interior. "I love baking bread. I've found it's very good for relieving stress. There were a few months after the Trade invasion that I made a few loaves every day, usually in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep."

Obi-Wan has been self-reliant in mundane matters for almost the entirety of his life. Children raised at the Temple are not coddled or tended to; they are taught to be able to take care of themselves from a very young age, and slowly given more responsibilities, to help teach them the values of the life they are striving for. While he would never speak out against another's beliefs or culture (unless it was harmful, and even then he would try to be diplomatic), he's always found the inherent sexism in some cultures to be distasteful.

Her comment about baking bread when she's stressed reminds him of an earlier thought he'd had, and while he gathers a serving of stew and breaks off his own piece of bread, he mentions it to her.

"Have you ever tried meditation? It's not just for Jedi, you know," he teases gently. "It's a good way to process stress, and view recent events that might trouble you, in order to find some clarity, or peace of mind. I'd be more than happy to teach you, if you'd like."

She pauses while lifting her fork to spear her first bite of the stewed vegetables, looking a bit sheepish at his question. The story that comes to mind is one she'd thought of earlier as well, when she'd come upon him meditating, but it's only now that he's asked that she decides to share it.

"I did once have it suggested to me by another senator's aide in a quite... disrespectful manner," she explains. "I may have responded in an equally unprofessional tone and haven't considered it since. But perhaps with the right teacher, my opinion would change."

There is a pause, where he stills as the various scenarios of what she's implying run through his head. It doesn't precisely shock him, because his opinion of politicians has never been particularly high, but he is offended on several fronts, both on principle, and personally on her behalf.

He reminds himself not to jump to conclusions, however. Deliberately, he wipes at his mouth and beard with his napkin, before slowly asking, "Am I to take that... that he made an advance on you?" His distaste is clear in the way he very carefully keeps his face and tone blank, devoid of any emotion.

The way he reacts to her tale, even vague as it is, makes her chest tighten with affection. She knows that Obi-Wan is a good man, that he would disapprove of such things for anyone involved, but that he reacts in such a way when it is her...

"It wasn't the first time, and I'm fairly certain it won't be the last, even with my change in circumstance," she replies, her tone midway between matter-of-fact and reassuring. "It's simply an unfortunate fact of the life I've chosen to live." She decides not to further elaborate on how some politicians do make a habit of trading certain types of 'favors' to get what they want.

Dropping his gaze and pressing his lips into a thin line are the only indications of how upset hearing her speak of it, even obliquely, makes him. He wrestles briefly with his emotions, recognizing them for what they are: anger, jealousy, possessiveness. Not full-blown and destructive, but the seeds are there. He consoles himself that Padmé can take care of herself, as she has just stated she did. He still has the un-Jedi-like urge to punch the aide in the face. Padmé is a good person, and does not deserve to be treated so callously.

Drawing in a measured breath, Obi-Wan slowly says, "While I am well-aware of how well you can take care of yourself, I hope your change in circumstance helps at least to lessen these-- occurrences," his mouth wraps around the word distastefully, "but I also find myself torn between hoping never to be witness to one, and hoping I am. I fear I would have a hard time standing back and allowing you to deal with it yourself, were I around."

It's all he will admit to, and worries that he hasn't divulged too much. He's just admitted to being far more emotionally invested than he had ever expected he would become.


P a d m é	A m i d a l a	N a b e r r i e

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