Obi-Wan could feel many things in that instant. Self-consciousness, at having laid himself bare to her, when he's only just come to terms with how he's feeling, himself. Mortification, that she's pulling away, potentially rejecting him, even if it is temporary, while she comes to grips with what he's implying.
In the end, however, he winds up ducking his head to hide a smile, trying very hard not to start laughing - sure that she would think he was laughing at her, which is definitely not the case. No, he's laughing at the situation he's found himself in, and how unprepared both of them are to deal with it.
Obi-Wan stands as well, much more slowly, turning toward her as she moves to, ostensibly, make him some tea. "Padmé..." He waits until she turns toward him, and for a brief moment, just looks at her. "I love you." He says it simply, and clearly with no expectations for her to return the sentiment. "I feel you should know, partly because I'm not sure how well I could hide it from you, if I had to try. And partly, because I never want you to question my actions, or the motives behind them, where they concern you. I want only for you to be happy. And if my feelings make you uncomfortable..." He looks a little uncomfortable himself, but forges on. "Well. We can figure something out. We can annul the marriage and you can find someone else to guard you."
Which is absolutely the last thing he wants, but Obi-Wan is used to sacrificing his own happiness for the sake of peace, and he would never want Padmé to be trapped in a situation that makes her uncomfortable.
She can't be hearing this right. Despite watching him speak, hearing those words, everything is disjointed and jumbled in her mind. He loves-- But how? It takes her by complete surprise, because he'd always been a bit of a flirt but she'd never thought, not really, she'd never expected...
"That is the last thing I want," she assures him rather forcefully, unknowingly echoing his own thoughts. "I want you to be happy too, and I would never ask you for anything you didn't--" Reaching up to press fingers to her lips for a moment, she shakes her head and continues, feeling a bit like a ship at sea being tossed around by the storm of her emotions. "You're sure? You're not just saying this because you think I expect it? Because I don't, this wasn't part of the arrangement and I wouldn't ask it of you. You've already done so much for me, you've changed your entire life--"
She's rambling now, the words coming out frantically as she worries that's what this is. It's a tiny seed of doubt that has spiraled out of control and she wants so desperately for his words to be true that's she's almost terrified of hearing his answer.
Watching her reaction, Obi-Wan relaxes slightly when her first impulse isn't to draw away or rebuff him. The idea she presents, that he might only be feeling this, or at least saying it, out of some obligation to her, brings back his amusement, and he has to press his lips together to keep his smile even partially subdued.
"I can assure you, Padmé, my feelings are my own, and the only influence you've had on them is by being yourself. I think..." his gaze shifts inadvertently as he contemplates, "I think eventually, if we had continued our friendship, I would have come to love you anyway - although I might not have faced my feelings, or felt the need to face them, as this situation we find ourselves in has required of me."
Taking a steadying breath, he takes a few steps towards her, though he maintains a distance between them that he hopes keeps her feeling comfortable-- as comfortable as this conversation allows, anyway. "My entire life is change. Always. This--" he waves a hand between them, "I wasn't expecting this situation, but it was always a possibility, for me. For any Jedi. My feelings are more unexpected, but I would not rid myself of them. Not..." He purses his lips. "Not even for you. And anything I do for you, I do of my own volition, not simply because you ask me and I feel obligated."
The more he explains, the harder it is for her to breathe, some part of her feeling like if she so much as blinks wrong this moment will shatter. This moment where so much promise has been laid before her and all she has to do is reach out and take it...
"I have feelings for you too," she informs him in a hushed voice, her gaze on his chest before slowly moving up to those beautiful eyes. The way he looked at her-- She can't return the confession he'd given her before, but she can be just as honest. "It isn't love, not yet, but... I think it will be. I want it to be."
He'd thought-- he'd hoped, in light of some of their previous interactions, that that was the case. But hearing her say the words fills him with a lightness of heart that he isn't expecting.
He wants her to love him, too. Oh, how he wants it. But he refuses to tell her so, to lay that expectation on her. Just as she was fearing, he doesn't want her to feel obligated into trying to return feelings she doesn't have.
Obi-Wan gives her a slight bow. "I ask for nothing in return, Padmé. If you come to love me..." he smiles at her softly, a little bittersweet. "I would cherish and return it, of course. But as you said: I don't want you to ever feel obligated to me. Your friendship, and your happiness, is all that I want. Now that I've realized my feelings toward you, I don't think I could stop, no matter what happens between us."
She wants to love him so desperately, to have that happiness she'd never really known in any previous relationship. Before, she'd never been friends with her lovers, so there had always been something missing, but with Obi-Wan she felt safe and cared for and comfortable with him from the start. If they were together, she would never have reason to doubt him, nor he her, and they were already supporting each other far better than most traditionally married couples. To add love to their relationship seemed so incredibly natural.
"Do you know what would make me happiest right now?" She offers him a smile of her own and steps closer. "If you would kiss me." It wasn't a demand, or even a request, simply an opportunity she's fairly certain they've both been wishing for.
Crafty, Obi-Wan thinks of her with a smile. He still takes just a moment to look at her, acknowledging the moment for the potential it has, in itself and to change their future.
He reaches up to gently cup her cheek, thinks of saying a half-dozen things and in the same instant discards them all. Instead he simply leans forward and presses his lips to hers. For all that the kiss might be called chaste, it's not short, and what it lacks in physicality, Obi-Wan shows Padmé just how deep his feelings for her are.
The kiss is both excruciating and exquisite, everything she could want even as it brushes the surface of what they could have. That simple press of lips to her own sends her pulse racing and she wants to wrap herself up in him.
So she does. Pulling back for just a few agonizing seconds to catch her breath, she reaches up to hook a hand around the back of his neck to keep him in place as she tugs him in for another kiss, this one insistent with a hint of desperation. She wants this, she wants him, and this kiss is the best way she can think of to show him that.
Obi-Wan barely has a chance to catch his own breath from the surprising feelings kissing her evoked, before he finds himself pulled back and kissing Padmé again.
This is something he's much more familiar with, and easily shifts against her, wrapping an arm low around her waist even as he takes a step forward until her back is pressed against the counter. The hand that was cupping her cheek he stretches out, tangling his fingers in her hair.
Her own hands clutch at his shoulder and neck as she stretches up on her toes to better reach him. The feeling of the counter at her back makes her gasp against his mouth and pull him even closer, not caring one bit that some might say this is a little fast for a new relationship. They're already married and the both of them are intelligent adults; they can set their own pace. If right now that pace happens to be faster than the jump to hyperspace, then so be it.
Obi-Wan shifts until his thigh slides between her legs, moving his mouth away from hers to press open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and neck, sucking and scraping his teeth against her delicate skin. When he reaches her ear he pauses briefly before nibbling on it to breathe, "Padmé..."
The sounds she makes at the attention he gives her fluctuate between breathy moans and tiny pleading whines, her hands roaming over his shoulders while she tries very hard not to climb her way up him. It's difficult, though, so incredibly difficult when mere kisses and the sound of her own name can make her feel like this.
"Tell me what you want, Obi-Wan," she insists, using only a fraction of her Senatorial tone because frankly it's all she can manage. One hand slips beneath his collar, nails scraping gently as she caresses the skin there.
Shuddering at the feel of her nails and hearing her voice, Obi-Wan shifts to press his forehead against her neck, huffing out a laugh. "I'm-- fairly certain if we just-- keep going, we'll get there," he says haltingly, letting his hand slide from her back along her side and up, boldly coming to rest on the swell of her breast, his thumb stroking over her nipple through the fabric.
In the next instant, he shifts to murmur in her ear, "Let me take you to bed."
That touch fuels the fire burning within her and she arches against him, pressing herself more fully against him and squirming against the delicious length of him. He could have gotten her to agree to just about anything at that moment, but this--
"Yes," she practically purrs at his request before reaching down to take a handful of his shirt in her hand and give it a firm tug. "Now, please." Impatience, thy name is Padmé.
Her insistence matches how he feels, and something about the entire situation, despite being very serious, makes Obi-Wan start to laugh, even as he presses a kiss to Padmé's lips. "Your wish is my command, m'lady," he murmurs without pulling away, their lips brushing together with each word.
Regretfully, he has to reposition them both, shifting to sweep an arm behind her knees while he supports her back in a classic carry. She's no longer pressed against the length of him, but he uses the reprieve to gather some control, so this encounter isn't shorter than it should be.
The trip to the bedroom is swift, and he sets Padmé down in front of the bed, claiming another kiss as he does so.
Later, Padmé won't remember exactly how all their various pieces of clothing ended up where they did, or exactly how much of the morning they spent exploring this new part of their relationship, but those details just don't seem that important as she lays in Obi-Wan's arms, her fingertips tracing lazy patterns on his chest while they both catch their breath.
Stretching out her legs that still feel weak and unsteady, she settles further into the plush pillows. "I feel the need to inform you, my dear Jedi, that you are very good at that," she tells him quietly, her voice a little husky from how frequently she'd vocalized her appreciation of his skills.
Huffing a breathy chuckle, Obi-Wan draws his fingers up Padmé's spine, enjoying the feel of her body in his arms. He's not really sure how to respond to the compliment, though; oh, if it were an ordinary sexual encounter he'd give some glib thanks at the praise, perhaps make a joke about Jedi prowess. But...
Obi-Wan finds he doesn't want to cheapen the moment. It was sex (and quite enjoyable sex, at that), but it feels like more. It was a turning point for them - or at least for him - and now that he has the chance to really think on everything, he finds himself floundering in uncharted waters.
While his mind is going over the ramifications of this, his mouth decides to engage on its own. "You were wonderful as well, I assure you." His voice is soft and sincere, but there's a distracted quality that shows he's thinking of other things.
She smiles at the reassurance, but does notice that hint of distraction, something just slightly off catching her attention. Slipping her hand from his chest up to his cheek, she smooths the pad of her thumb along that wonderfully bearded jawline, the soft hairs tickling her skin.
"What is it?" she asks him gently, brow slightly furrowed. Her thoughts dance over the question of whether he regrets this step between them, but she discards it as quickly as it appeared; he'd wanted this as much as she, there's no doubt of that in her.
Her touch draws Obi-Wan out of his thoughts enough that he looks down at her, and he regrets that his ruminations have made her question any of this.
The smile he gives her is slight, and tinged with both awe and trepidation. "I love you." He says it as an explanation in itself, but goes on to elaborate, "This is a wholly new territory for me. I--" he laughs at himself, incredulous. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now. It's slightly terrifying."
Hearing him say those words... They're such simple things, each meaningless on their own, mere everyday occurrences, but when strung together by a particular person, they have the power to change the world. Her world has been irrevocably altered as well as his, and she wouldn't change that for anything.
"It is quite terrifying," she agrees, running her hand down his arm. "But I don't regret it. I want you in my life in every way possible, even if I don't know yet how that will actually work. But we'll figure it out, together." There's a conviction in her voice that shines through, the same strength that stands out in everything she sets her mind to.
The utter confidence she displays makes his heart swell, and Obi-Wan pulls her up enough that he can bend his head to kiss her. "I don't regret it either, I promise," he murmurs. "Once we return to Coruscant, I should warn you, I may be spending a lot of time at the Temple for a while. At the moment, I... I feel as if I'm going against everything I was taught, and yet-- not. We're taught to trust our feelings. And yet we're taught not to grow attached, to stay separate and impartial."
And here Obi-Wan's natural flirtation and playfulness finally comes back to the fore: he lets his eyes wander intently down the length of Padmé's body pressed against his, and he very deliberately strokes his hand from her shoulder blades to the swell of her backside, before coming to rest comfortably there. "And I'm not sure I could get any more partial to you, at the moment." He flexes his fingers slightly. "Well." He grins cheekily. "I probably could, if given a few moments."
A laugh bursts out of her at his cheeky dramatics, her adoration for this beautiful man only growing with each passing second. She pulls the edge of the blanket up to swat him gently in the face before letting it fall down over them.
"You're incorrigible," she informs him with amusement, before sobering slightly and sitting up just enough to prop herself up on an elbow to look at him properly. "I want you to do whatever you have to in order to be comfortable and settled in this new life. Whether that means hours at the Temple or whatever else. I know this is a huge change for you, even more so now."
Resetting herself so she's laying against him again, she gives a tap of her fingers against his chest. "Now, let's play a little game. You name something that worries you about this new adventure we're embarking on, and I'll offer a potential solution or insight that might help ease that worry. It can be absolutely anything, and then we'll switch."
He laughs as Padmé swats at him; this is what he wants, more than anything. This ease and closeness, both physical and emotional between them. Even as she grows more serious again, he doesn't tense up, because he knows no matter what, they can discuss things and share their thoughts. He appreciates that, while she might not fully understand the change this is to his entire upbringing, she is mindful and considerate of what he's going through.
Resettling his arms around her in a comfortable embrace, Obi-Wan thinks about Padmé's 'little game.' Besides his own emotional upheaval, there's not much he's been worried about before now. He finally settles on a real, but relatively mild, concern, to start things off. "I worry that, once we leave here, that at some point, we'll settle into our everyday lives and concerns, and...not 'lose', but we'll drift away from-- this." He motions to them lying in bed and then around the room, not meaning the physical aspect of their relationship, but the contentment and emotional closeness they've been sharing recently. "I was taught though - repeatedly, very, very repeatedly - to be mindful of the moment we're living in, and not worry so much about the future, because it hasn't arrived yet."
She nods slightly as he voices his concern, acknowledging it while turning it over in her mind. It's a legitimate concern, absolutely so considering their individually busy schedules and all the demands that will be placed on their time and attention. This closeness they're settling into isn't something she wants to lose either, but it appears he's providing the solution to the problem himself, whether he realizes it or not.
"Then perhaps that's a lesson we should incorporate into our life together," she proposes. "We'll make time in our schedules to just be together, just the two of us with no distractions, so we can reconnect and remember what's important. Even if that means having to actually schedule something to make sure it happens." Which will likely be the case at certain times, given how hectic her career in the Senate can be. Offering him as much assurance as she can, she adds, "I promise, if something makes it onto my calendar, I stick to it. I don't cancel appointments lightly, especially personal ones."
It's a plan that won't work miracles, but it might at least keep them heading in the right direction.
Hearing her say 'our life together' brings surprising happiness to Obi-Wan. While he doesn't want to lose how he feels now, he is looking forward to 'our life' not being so jolting in its unexpectedness. A steady foundation that he can rely on.
He laughs a little at the idea of actually having to schedule time together, although he's sure it will end up being the case, at some point. "I worry about how that conversation with your social secretary will go. We'll certainly give your handmaidens something to talk about."
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In the end, however, he winds up ducking his head to hide a smile, trying very hard not to start laughing - sure that she would think he was laughing at her, which is definitely not the case. No, he's laughing at the situation he's found himself in, and how unprepared both of them are to deal with it.
Obi-Wan stands as well, much more slowly, turning toward her as she moves to, ostensibly, make him some tea. "Padmé..." He waits until she turns toward him, and for a brief moment, just looks at her. "I love you." He says it simply, and clearly with no expectations for her to return the sentiment. "I feel you should know, partly because I'm not sure how well I could hide it from you, if I had to try. And partly, because I never want you to question my actions, or the motives behind them, where they concern you. I want only for you to be happy. And if my feelings make you uncomfortable..." He looks a little uncomfortable himself, but forges on. "Well. We can figure something out. We can annul the marriage and you can find someone else to guard you."
Which is absolutely the last thing he wants, but Obi-Wan is used to sacrificing his own happiness for the sake of peace, and he would never want Padmé to be trapped in a situation that makes her uncomfortable.
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"That is the last thing I want," she assures him rather forcefully, unknowingly echoing his own thoughts. "I want you to be happy too, and I would never ask you for anything you didn't--" Reaching up to press fingers to her lips for a moment, she shakes her head and continues, feeling a bit like a ship at sea being tossed around by the storm of her emotions. "You're sure? You're not just saying this because you think I expect it? Because I don't, this wasn't part of the arrangement and I wouldn't ask it of you. You've already done so much for me, you've changed your entire life--"
She's rambling now, the words coming out frantically as she worries that's what this is. It's a tiny seed of doubt that has spiraled out of control and she wants so desperately for his words to be true that's she's almost terrified of hearing his answer.
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"I can assure you, Padmé, my feelings are my own, and the only influence you've had on them is by being yourself. I think..." his gaze shifts inadvertently as he contemplates, "I think eventually, if we had continued our friendship, I would have come to love you anyway - although I might not have faced my feelings, or felt the need to face them, as this situation we find ourselves in has required of me."
Taking a steadying breath, he takes a few steps towards her, though he maintains a distance between them that he hopes keeps her feeling comfortable-- as comfortable as this conversation allows, anyway. "My entire life is change. Always. This--" he waves a hand between them, "I wasn't expecting this situation, but it was always a possibility, for me. For any Jedi. My feelings are more unexpected, but I would not rid myself of them. Not..." He purses his lips. "Not even for you. And anything I do for you, I do of my own volition, not simply because you ask me and I feel obligated."
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"I have feelings for you too," she informs him in a hushed voice, her gaze on his chest before slowly moving up to those beautiful eyes. The way he looked at her-- She can't return the confession he'd given her before, but she can be just as honest. "It isn't love, not yet, but... I think it will be. I want it to be."
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He wants her to love him, too. Oh, how he wants it. But he refuses to tell her so, to lay that expectation on her. Just as she was fearing, he doesn't want her to feel obligated into trying to return feelings she doesn't have.
Obi-Wan gives her a slight bow. "I ask for nothing in return, Padmé. If you come to love me..." he smiles at her softly, a little bittersweet. "I would cherish and return it, of course. But as you said: I don't want you to ever feel obligated to me. Your friendship, and your happiness, is all that I want. Now that I've realized my feelings toward you, I don't think I could stop, no matter what happens between us."
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"Do you know what would make me happiest right now?" She offers him a smile of her own and steps closer. "If you would kiss me." It wasn't a demand, or even a request, simply an opportunity she's fairly certain they've both been wishing for.
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He reaches up to gently cup her cheek, thinks of saying a half-dozen things and in the same instant discards them all. Instead he simply leans forward and presses his lips to hers. For all that the kiss might be called chaste, it's not short, and what it lacks in physicality, Obi-Wan shows Padmé just how deep his feelings for her are.
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So she does. Pulling back for just a few agonizing seconds to catch her breath, she reaches up to hook a hand around the back of his neck to keep him in place as she tugs him in for another kiss, this one insistent with a hint of desperation. She wants this, she wants him, and this kiss is the best way she can think of to show him that.
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This is something he's much more familiar with, and easily shifts against her, wrapping an arm low around her waist even as he takes a step forward until her back is pressed against the counter. The hand that was cupping her cheek he stretches out, tangling his fingers in her hair.
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"Tell me what you want, Obi-Wan," she insists, using only a fraction of her Senatorial tone because frankly it's all she can manage. One hand slips beneath his collar, nails scraping gently as she caresses the skin there.
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In the next instant, he shifts to murmur in her ear, "Let me take you to bed."
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"Yes," she practically purrs at his request before reaching down to take a handful of his shirt in her hand and give it a firm tug. "Now, please." Impatience, thy name is Padmé.
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Regretfully, he has to reposition them both, shifting to sweep an arm behind her knees while he supports her back in a classic carry. She's no longer pressed against the length of him, but he uses the reprieve to gather some control, so this encounter isn't shorter than it should be.
The trip to the bedroom is swift, and he sets Padmé down in front of the bed, claiming another kiss as he does so.
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Stretching out her legs that still feel weak and unsteady, she settles further into the plush pillows. "I feel the need to inform you, my dear Jedi, that you are very good at that," she tells him quietly, her voice a little husky from how frequently she'd vocalized her appreciation of his skills.
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Obi-Wan finds he doesn't want to cheapen the moment. It was sex (and quite enjoyable sex, at that), but it feels like more. It was a turning point for them - or at least for him - and now that he has the chance to really think on everything, he finds himself floundering in uncharted waters.
While his mind is going over the ramifications of this, his mouth decides to engage on its own. "You were wonderful as well, I assure you." His voice is soft and sincere, but there's a distracted quality that shows he's thinking of other things.
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"What is it?" she asks him gently, brow slightly furrowed. Her thoughts dance over the question of whether he regrets this step between them, but she discards it as quickly as it appeared; he'd wanted this as much as she, there's no doubt of that in her.
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The smile he gives her is slight, and tinged with both awe and trepidation. "I love you." He says it as an explanation in itself, but goes on to elaborate, "This is a wholly new territory for me. I--" he laughs at himself, incredulous. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now. It's slightly terrifying."
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"It is quite terrifying," she agrees, running her hand down his arm. "But I don't regret it. I want you in my life in every way possible, even if I don't know yet how that will actually work. But we'll figure it out, together." There's a conviction in her voice that shines through, the same strength that stands out in everything she sets her mind to.
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And here Obi-Wan's natural flirtation and playfulness finally comes back to the fore: he lets his eyes wander intently down the length of Padmé's body pressed against his, and he very deliberately strokes his hand from her shoulder blades to the swell of her backside, before coming to rest comfortably there. "And I'm not sure I could get any more partial to you, at the moment." He flexes his fingers slightly. "Well." He grins cheekily. "I probably could, if given a few moments."
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"You're incorrigible," she informs him with amusement, before sobering slightly and sitting up just enough to prop herself up on an elbow to look at him properly. "I want you to do whatever you have to in order to be comfortable and settled in this new life. Whether that means hours at the Temple or whatever else. I know this is a huge change for you, even more so now."
Resetting herself so she's laying against him again, she gives a tap of her fingers against his chest. "Now, let's play a little game. You name something that worries you about this new adventure we're embarking on, and I'll offer a potential solution or insight that might help ease that worry. It can be absolutely anything, and then we'll switch."
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Resettling his arms around her in a comfortable embrace, Obi-Wan thinks about Padmé's 'little game.' Besides his own emotional upheaval, there's not much he's been worried about before now. He finally settles on a real, but relatively mild, concern, to start things off. "I worry that, once we leave here, that at some point, we'll settle into our everyday lives and concerns, and...not 'lose', but we'll drift away from-- this." He motions to them lying in bed and then around the room, not meaning the physical aspect of their relationship, but the contentment and emotional closeness they've been sharing recently. "I was taught though - repeatedly, very, very repeatedly - to be mindful of the moment we're living in, and not worry so much about the future, because it hasn't arrived yet."
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"Then perhaps that's a lesson we should incorporate into our life together," she proposes. "We'll make time in our schedules to just be together, just the two of us with no distractions, so we can reconnect and remember what's important. Even if that means having to actually schedule something to make sure it happens." Which will likely be the case at certain times, given how hectic her career in the Senate can be. Offering him as much assurance as she can, she adds, "I promise, if something makes it onto my calendar, I stick to it. I don't cancel appointments lightly, especially personal ones."
It's a plan that won't work miracles, but it might at least keep them heading in the right direction.
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He laughs a little at the idea of actually having to schedule time together, although he's sure it will end up being the case, at some point. "I worry about how that conversation with your social secretary will go. We'll certainly give your handmaidens something to talk about."
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