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Padmé Amidala Naberrie ([personal profile] senateur) wrote2018-08-14 10:45 pm

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P a d m é
A m i d a l a
N a b e r r i e

whatimust: (sw_aotc_65)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 06:40 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan could feel many things in that instant. Self-consciousness, at having laid himself bare to her, when he's only just come to terms with how he's feeling, himself. Mortification, that she's pulling away, potentially rejecting him, even if it is temporary, while she comes to grips with what he's implying.

In the end, however, he winds up ducking his head to hide a smile, trying very hard not to start laughing - sure that she would think he was laughing at her, which is definitely not the case. No, he's laughing at the situation he's found himself in, and how unprepared both of them are to deal with it.

Obi-Wan stands as well, much more slowly, turning toward her as she moves to, ostensibly, make him some tea. "Padmé..." He waits until she turns toward him, and for a brief moment, just looks at her. "I love you." He says it simply, and clearly with no expectations for her to return the sentiment. "I feel you should know, partly because I'm not sure how well I could hide it from you, if I had to try. And partly, because I never want you to question my actions, or the motives behind them, where they concern you. I want only for you to be happy. And if my feelings make you uncomfortable..." He looks a little uncomfortable himself, but forges on. "Well. We can figure something out. We can annul the marriage and you can find someone else to guard you."

Which is absolutely the last thing he wants, but Obi-Wan is used to sacrificing his own happiness for the sake of peace, and he would never want Padmé to be trapped in a situation that makes her uncomfortable.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_47)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
Watching her reaction, Obi-Wan relaxes slightly when her first impulse isn't to draw away or rebuff him. The idea she presents, that he might only be feeling this, or at least saying it, out of some obligation to her, brings back his amusement, and he has to press his lips together to keep his smile even partially subdued.

"I can assure you, Padmé, my feelings are my own, and the only influence you've had on them is by being yourself. I think..." his gaze shifts inadvertently as he contemplates, "I think eventually, if we had continued our friendship, I would have come to love you anyway - although I might not have faced my feelings, or felt the need to face them, as this situation we find ourselves in has required of me."

Taking a steadying breath, he takes a few steps towards her, though he maintains a distance between them that he hopes keeps her feeling comfortable-- as comfortable as this conversation allows, anyway. "My entire life is change. Always. This--" he waves a hand between them, "I wasn't expecting this situation, but it was always a possibility, for me. For any Jedi. My feelings are more unexpected, but I would not rid myself of them. Not..." He purses his lips. "Not even for you. And anything I do for you, I do of my own volition, not simply because you ask me and I feel obligated."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_65)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
He'd thought-- he'd hoped, in light of some of their previous interactions, that that was the case. But hearing her say the words fills him with a lightness of heart that he isn't expecting.

He wants her to love him, too. Oh, how he wants it. But he refuses to tell her so, to lay that expectation on her. Just as she was fearing, he doesn't want her to feel obligated into trying to return feelings she doesn't have.

Obi-Wan gives her a slight bow. "I ask for nothing in return, Padmé. If you come to love me..." he smiles at her softly, a little bittersweet. "I would cherish and return it, of course. But as you said: I don't want you to ever feel obligated to me. Your friendship, and your happiness, is all that I want. Now that I've realized my feelings toward you, I don't think I could stop, no matter what happens between us."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_53)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 08:19 am (UTC)(link)
Crafty, Obi-Wan thinks of her with a smile. He still takes just a moment to look at her, acknowledging the moment for the potential it has, in itself and to change their future.

He reaches up to gently cup her cheek, thinks of saying a half-dozen things and in the same instant discards them all. Instead he simply leans forward and presses his lips to hers. For all that the kiss might be called chaste, it's not short, and what it lacks in physicality, Obi-Wan shows Padmé just how deep his feelings for her are.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_25)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 08:49 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan barely has a chance to catch his own breath from the surprising feelings kissing her evoked, before he finds himself pulled back and kissing Padmé again.

This is something he's much more familiar with, and easily shifts against her, wrapping an arm low around her waist even as he takes a step forward until her back is pressed against the counter. The hand that was cupping her cheek he stretches out, tangling his fingers in her hair.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_27)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 09:15 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan shifts until his thigh slides between her legs, moving his mouth away from hers to press open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and neck, sucking and scraping his teeth against her delicate skin. When he reaches her ear he pauses briefly before nibbling on it to breathe, "Padmé..."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_65)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 09:46 am (UTC)(link)
Shuddering at the feel of her nails and hearing her voice, Obi-Wan shifts to press his forehead against her neck, huffing out a laugh. "I'm-- fairly certain if we just-- keep going, we'll get there," he says haltingly, letting his hand slide from her back along her side and up, boldly coming to rest on the swell of her breast, his thumb stroking over her nipple through the fabric.

In the next instant, he shifts to murmur in her ear, "Let me take you to bed."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_44)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-01 01:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Her insistence matches how he feels, and something about the entire situation, despite being very serious, makes Obi-Wan start to laugh, even as he presses a kiss to Padmé's lips. "Your wish is my command, m'lady," he murmurs without pulling away, their lips brushing together with each word.

Regretfully, he has to reposition them both, shifting to sweep an arm behind her knees while he supports her back in a classic carry. She's no longer pressed against the length of him, but he uses the reprieve to gather some control, so this encounter isn't shorter than it should be.

The trip to the bedroom is swift, and he sets Padmé down in front of the bed, claiming another kiss as he does so.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_75)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-05 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
Huffing a breathy chuckle, Obi-Wan draws his fingers up Padmé's spine, enjoying the feel of her body in his arms. He's not really sure how to respond to the compliment, though; oh, if it were an ordinary sexual encounter he'd give some glib thanks at the praise, perhaps make a joke about Jedi prowess. But...

Obi-Wan finds he doesn't want to cheapen the moment. It was sex (and quite enjoyable sex, at that), but it feels like more. It was a turning point for them - or at least for him - and now that he has the chance to really think on everything, he finds himself floundering in uncharted waters.

While his mind is going over the ramifications of this, his mouth decides to engage on its own. "You were wonderful as well, I assure you." His voice is soft and sincere, but there's a distracted quality that shows he's thinking of other things.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_70)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-05 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
Her touch draws Obi-Wan out of his thoughts enough that he looks down at her, and he regrets that his ruminations have made her question any of this.

The smile he gives her is slight, and tinged with both awe and trepidation. "I love you." He says it as an explanation in itself, but goes on to elaborate, "This is a wholly new territory for me. I--" he laughs at himself, incredulous. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now. It's slightly terrifying."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_44)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-05 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
The utter confidence she displays makes his heart swell, and Obi-Wan pulls her up enough that he can bend his head to kiss her. "I don't regret it either, I promise," he murmurs. "Once we return to Coruscant, I should warn you, I may be spending a lot of time at the Temple for a while. At the moment, I... I feel as if I'm going against everything I was taught, and yet-- not. We're taught to trust our feelings. And yet we're taught not to grow attached, to stay separate and impartial."

And here Obi-Wan's natural flirtation and playfulness finally comes back to the fore: he lets his eyes wander intently down the length of Padmé's body pressed against his, and he very deliberately strokes his hand from her shoulder blades to the swell of her backside, before coming to rest comfortably there. "And I'm not sure I could get any more partial to you, at the moment." He flexes his fingers slightly. "Well." He grins cheekily. "I probably could, if given a few moments."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_01)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-05 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
He laughs as Padmé swats at him; this is what he wants, more than anything. This ease and closeness, both physical and emotional between them. Even as she grows more serious again, he doesn't tense up, because he knows no matter what, they can discuss things and share their thoughts. He appreciates that, while she might not fully understand the change this is to his entire upbringing, she is mindful and considerate of what he's going through.

Resettling his arms around her in a comfortable embrace, Obi-Wan thinks about Padmé's 'little game.' Besides his own emotional upheaval, there's not much he's been worried about before now. He finally settles on a real, but relatively mild, concern, to start things off. "I worry that, once we leave here, that at some point, we'll settle into our everyday lives and concerns, and...not 'lose', but we'll drift away from-- this." He motions to them lying in bed and then around the room, not meaning the physical aspect of their relationship, but the contentment and emotional closeness they've been sharing recently. "I was taught though - repeatedly, very, very repeatedly - to be mindful of the moment we're living in, and not worry so much about the future, because it hasn't arrived yet."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_41)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-09-05 10:48 am (UTC)(link)
Hearing her say 'our life together' brings surprising happiness to Obi-Wan. While he doesn't want to lose how he feels now, he is looking forward to 'our life' not being so jolting in its unexpectedness. A steady foundation that he can rely on.

He laughs a little at the idea of actually having to schedule time together, although he's sure it will end up being the case, at some point. "I worry about how that conversation with your social secretary will go. We'll certainly give your handmaidens something to talk about."

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