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Padmé Amidala Naberrie ([personal profile] senateur) wrote2018-08-14 10:45 pm

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P a d m é
A m i d a l a
N a b e r r i e

whatimust: (sw_aotc_75)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan turns his head to face her at the kiss, but she's already moving away. It's probably for the best, because it hadn't been surprise at the gesture that made him move. He's not sure what he would have done if she hadn't turned away; perhaps just shared a look with her. But being so close, he thinks his much-vaunted Jedi control wouldn't have held up, and he would have given her a real kiss. This is twice now that she's kissed his cheek, and he still can't figure out if she's merely being affectionate with a friend, or if her feelings might mirror his. And worse: he has no idea how to go about finding out.

At her question, Obi-Wan glances not at the bed, but the door and windows. "I don't mind either side, but if it's all right with you, I'll take the right." It's the one closer to the door, and even knowing that they're (theoretically) in no danger here, he knows he will sleep safer if he's between her and potential harm.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_40)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
Truth be told, the windows do give him a bit of hesitation on her side, but short of moving the entire monstrosity of a bed - which he could do, but it seems frivolous to use the Force just to sate his possible paranoia - there's not much he can do, besides stay vigilant. He is by necessity a light sleeper, and has honed his battle senses to recognize unfamiliar movements in the Force. It's fortunate he's already familiar with Padmé's signature, or this week would also have to be used to get used to having her constant presence beside him as he rested. He fears he's going to get less sleep than usual due to her proximity as it is, but for an entirely different reason.

Following her example, Obi-Wan moves to settle into the bed beside her, with a good foot of space between them. It seems rather ridiculous, since they're 'married,' but he merely lets a smile cross his face before sighing in content as his body settles. "Goodnight, my lady," he intones softly.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_72)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan is pulled from his sleep by a feeling of unease. He lays perfectly still, searching for what disturbed him. A moment later, the figure beside him gasps and jerks just slightly. If he had still been sleeping, he might not have even noticed it; Padmé is far too good at controlling herself for his peace of mind, sometimes.

As she slowly leaves the bed, he debates how he should act. He could let her go, let her believe she didn't disturb him, that her nightmare went unnoticed. He wasn't going to leave her alone, uncomforted, but he could wait a few moments, before getting up himself. Pretend he only noticed afterward that she'd left, and had gone looking for her in concern.

It feels wrong to be disingenuous with her in such a way, though, even if she wouldn't be happy that he could sense things she might otherwise have kept hidden from him.

She's almost to the door before he sits up and calls out quietly, "Padmé." He says nothing else, but it's clear from his voice that he's awake and alert, and concerned. He will let her decide how she wants to proceed.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_65)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
It saddens him that she goes to such trouble to lie to him, not just with her words, but her very tone and expression. But he lets her. He hopes she will someday turn to him first, when she's hurting like this; and she is hurting, he can feel it, tremors in the Force as she battled her emotions. Her soul cries, and it pains him to hear it.

"You didn't wake me, milady," which is the truth...depending on how you view it. He pushes back the sheets and starts to rise from the bed. "But now that I am awake, I think I shall make some tea." He leaves it at that, hoping that she will take up the unspoken invitation for company at some point. If she continues to grieve, he will - gently - confront her about it, but for now he lets her decide how to handle her emotions. If she wants space and solitude, he can give her that.
whatimust: (SWIII_2339)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
There is a pause, before he moves until he's standing within arm's reach of her. "Do you need to bake?" he finds himself asking, his mind catching up after the words are out of his mouth, remembering her mentioning how she would bake when she was upset or stressed. "If not..." he glances out the windows. "It's a pleasant night. I could bring you tea in the garden, or by the lake."

He wants desperately to say 'let me take care of you, now,' but he senses it would be the wrong thing to say, it would push her and he's not sure of the outcome. If she would tell him what was wrong, and feel better for it afterward; if it would push her away from him, locking her feelings down and becoming unreachable to him, trying all the harder in the future to hide these fragile moments. Or if she would simply shatter, with him having no clue how to put the pieces back together, yet.

He reaches out, but simply touches his fingertips to her bicep in a small gesture of comfort. "I will do what you need, if you tell me." His voice the whole time he speaks is soothing, and his last words are as close as he intends to getting to revealing that he's aware of the turmoil she's in.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_45)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
A soft sigh escapes him, but he smiles and bows his head to her, hiding his disappointment as he feels her withdrawing. "Of course."

Moving past her, Obi-Wan enters the kitchen and locates what he needs, using the time and familiar motions to let his mind drift. There is nothing he can do except be there when she is ready. It's hard for him, because he is used to being proactive, but he understands that negotiations cannot take place unless all parties are willing; while the situation isn't really the same, the dynamics are similar. He can wait. He can do whatever she needs him to, to make her feel comfortable. Either she will turn to him, or she will continue to keep her own counsel, and trying to force the issue will only drive her away.

He had already pushed too hard, thankfully only a little, but he knew it would take time to repair the damage.

Next time, he thought ruefully, I will pretend I'm still asleep.

When the tea is finished steeping, he carries a cup out to her.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_02)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
It's easy for him to follow her presence, even if she'd tried to hide her location. (But he's glad she didn't.) Obi-Wan comes to a stop just in front of and beside her, before crouching elegantly and offering her the cup.

"Unless you wish me to stay, I'm going back in to meditate. Don't worry about interrupting me, it's... more just a way to greet the day, than any real need for it."

Of course, he wishes she would tell him to stay, but he's fairly certain that won't happen. Not now, this time, at any rate.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_18)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
Hiding his surprise, there's only the briefest of pauses before Obi-Wan nods. "Of course, my lady." He shifts to cross his ankles and sink onto the edge of the blanket beside her, turning to be 90 degrees to her. So he can look at her, and she him, but avoid the other's gaze with ease if they feel like it. Non-confrontational attention, Qui-Gon had called it, and it was a technique Obi-Wan used often.

"My time is yours. Take all you need."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_65)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
Accepting the device, Obi-Wan keeps his head up to show he's listening, even as he scans through the files, his Jedi training taking over.

Stars above... He'd known she'd had multiple attempts made on her life, and the last was too close, prompting this arrangement in the first place. What he hadn't known until just know were the details, and what she must have had to witness. He looks at the image of her handmaiden - so similar in looks as Padmé, lying in a pool of blood - for only the briefest moment before flicking past. He's going to have that image in his head for a long while.

I don't wish to discuss it.
Captain Typho will be eager to strategize security measures.


"Yes, I'm sure he will," Obi-Wan murmurs distractedly, shutting the screen off and lowering the datapad to his lap. He turns his head to look out at the lake, calm and serene in the pre-dawn light. He takes a deep breath, savoring the clean, slightly damp fresh air. "If he's anything like Captain Tanaka, he will not be pleased with the fact that as your husband, I now have not only first but last say in your security. And I intend on keeping it as unobtrusive as possible."

Another breath, this time released in a sigh. "You won't be a prisoner, Padmé. And you're not to blame for this."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_19)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-24 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
He accepts her glossing over of his last words, as well as her distance. He'd expected nothing else, really, even if he'd hoped... But he knew these things took time. He remembered their laughing and teasing of each other yesterday - had it really been less than a full day ago? It felt like a lifetime - and knew that holding back her grief wasn't unduly harming her, so he left it alone for now. Some wounds needed to be punctured, the infection released before they could heal. Others needed to be left to heal on their own, and only time would tell if they would scar. For now, he would let the issue drop. With time and distance, perhaps she would come to see herself that she wasn't to blame. Or perhaps eventually she would come to trust him enough to listen when he told her it wasn't her fault.

Obi-Wan nods his agreement to her last words - more a decree, and part of him thinks wryly that eventually, the Queen and the Jedi are going to butt heads, and no one in the vicinity will escape unscathed. But since they are in agreement, thankfully this will not be that day. "No, there's no point publicizing it, and it could do your cause more harm than good, which is the last thing we want."

"Is there anything else you wish from me, my lady?" He reaches out to brush fingertips over her hand, making his words less formal and more heartfelt.
whatimust: (sw_aotc_44)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-25 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
There is so much he'd like to say to her still, to do. He thinks about lifting her hand to kiss; thinks of simply hugging her, offering his silent support. He does neither, merely smiling pleasantly. "That sounds lovely. Thank you for telling me you enjoy cooking; I would feel much more guilty for not pulling my weight. As it is, I only feel somewhat guilty about it, instead."

On impulse, he does pick up her hand and brush a chaste kiss across her knuckles. He remains casual, acting as if he'd done nothing out of the ordinary, even while his heart starts beating faster in his chest at the display of affection. This is not something he's used to.

"I won't be more than a half-hour's time."
whatimust: (sw_aotc_22)

[personal profile] whatimust 2018-08-25 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan gifts her with another smile, quite unable to help himself, before standing, offering a brief, playful bow to her, and heading back inside.

He decides on meditating in the bedroom, in front of the row of windows and providing soothing natural light. As he told Padmé earlier, this morning's meditation is more just a way to greet the day, rather than trying to work anything out. He had been awoken a little earlier than usual, and the emotional turmoil they'd danced around has left him feeling a little off-kilter, so re-centering himself is soothing and welcome, but not strictly needed. He listens, both with his ears as well as his Force sense, as the local wildlife begins waking up for the day, while the nocturnal creatures settle into their nests and dens for their own sleep cycle. He's going to miss this, when they return to Coruscant; even the Temple meditation gardens don't feel like this, artificial and isolated as they are.

He thinks he's going to miss a lot of things about this week, once it's over, not least of which is the ease of his and Padmé's friendship. He knows it will continue, but here and now, it's freeing knowing they have no responsibilities for this short time. Perhaps that's why he continues to find himself unconsciously flirting with her - for that is what he's doing, even if he's only now recognizing what the touches, the smiles, and the 'my lady's really are.

His internal clock tells him when it's been a half-hour, and while he's enjoying himself, he's also quite hungry, and discovers he's also craving spending more time in Padmé's company.

Oh dear. He hopes that doesn't become a problem in the future. No matter how he feels for her, he can't allow himself to become distracted by thoughts of her at inopportune moments.

Rising from his kneeling position, he heads into the kitchen, thinking he's definitely going to have to visit with Master Yoda once they return to the capitol.

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