It had been so long since she allowed herself to accept comfort from anyone, it felt almost strange to have Poe hold her hand. Strange and wonderful, his touch an anchor in a storm that she desperately needed, and she was so grateful to him for it.
Even after defeating the Empire, it wouldn't be over. There would be another thirty years of battles ahead, and who knew how many after that. The weight of it all threatened to crush her, and Padmé had to lean back against her seat to keep from feeling ill.
"I tried so hard to make the galaxy a better place," she said suddenly, more to herself than her companion. "To make it safer for my children." She gave a slight shake of her head, looking as utterly lost as she felt. "How could we have failed so terribly?"
"Thirty-some-odd years of mostly-peace isn't something to scoff at." He said, sounding earnest as anything, "And even then, something my ma' used to say was that even in the darkest of times you can find a light, and if you can't find it, it's up to you to be it."
A soft huff, amused, but not really a laugh, "And General Organa likes saying that if you can only believe in the sun when it's shining, you'll never make it through the night."
His mother sounded like a wise woman, like someone Padmé would have gotten along with well. Someone who got things done and didn't stop for any obstacle.
"General Organa?" She couldn't hide the effect the name had on her even if she tried. Immediately sitting up, she leaned across the space between them to grab Poe's arm, pleading with this man she'd only just met. "Do you mean Bail Organa of Alderaan?"
He was a little startled by that, but shook his head all the same, even as he placed his hand over hers on his arm, "No, his daughter. Leia." He didn't think he'd ever get used to using her name, mostly because she'd been 'the General' even when he was growing up, and using her given name just struck him as wrong.
The galaxy could have come to a crashing halt around them right that second and Padmé wouldn't have noticed. She barely even breathed, no longer feeling his hand on her own. "You know Leia? She's alive?"
Obi-Wan hadn't told her where he'd taken her children, the both of them agreeing it was safer that way, but it couldn't be a coincidence that Bail had a daughter sharing that name. Her dear friend had raised her child when she couldn't, and she would likely never be able to tell him how grateful she was.
His smile returned, broad and bright and open, "I know her, she's definitely still alive, she's my commanding officer. She's the one who sent me to check out D'Qar, see if there's anywhere we could drop a Resistance stronghold and have it stick."
There were stories of how the flora there would ensnare anything that held still long enough, and he was hoping they were exaggerations.
Leia, her tiny baby, following in her mother's footsteps to fight for the future of the galaxy. Could she really have expected any differently, especially when her little girl was to be raised by Bail?
"Is her-- Does she have any other family?" Leia would be a grown woman well into middle-age when Poe knew her. Perhaps she would have a family of her own, or maybe, somehow, she and Luke would find each other. It was dangerous to do so, but she couldn't help asking after her second child.
He had a better idea of who she actually was, now, and why he'd recognized her, but he wasn't going to call her out on it, not unless she brought it up herself, because it made sense now that she'd be in hiding.
While on the one hand he didn't want to lie to her, he also didn't think that telling her everything would do her any good either, and so he told part of the truth, "Yeah, got married to a smuggler, well, I mean, he was a general at the time too. A lot of people were then. Their son Ben and I were practically inseparable as kids." A shrug, "Then I went off to the Republic Academy and he went off to train with Commander Skywalker and we haven't really been in contact since." Especially when all he knew was that 'something had happened' and Ben was either dead or lost, or, he was always hopeful, in hiding along with Luke.
Her daughter, married to a smuggle. A part of her knew that she should be concerned over such a thing, it certainly seemed the motherly way, but she also believed in the good in people. If her daughter loved the man, then she hoped they have a happy life together with their son. Her grandson.
Commander Skywalker. Her children would find each other, then. There were no words to describe how much of a relief that was, or how it broke her heart to realize there had been no mention of her in Poe's description. She wasn't going to be a part of her children's lives then. But they would live, and she tried very hard to focus on that miraculous revelation.
"Thank you for telling me all of this," she said after a moment of silence, withdrawing fully back to her own chair and picking up her cup of tea again while something in her visibly closed off. The only way she could continue this conversation was to distance herself from both the pain and joy it had presented her. "How can I help you get back to your life, Poe?"
He could understand needing the distance, especially if she was who he thought she was, and he was happy to change the subject if that was what she needed, though the question had him shaking his head, just rolling his cup of tea between his palms again, "I don't know. If I did I think we'd be having a very different conversation."
He scrubbed a hand up over his face and through his hair, "We were on the wrong end of a dogfight, last-minute hyperspace calculation through a solar storm, or, well, solar loop, it wasn't really a storm. We were supposed to get to D'Qar and got here instead."
Dozens of thoughts tumbled through her mind as she considered the possibilities while sipping slowly at her tea. Her eyes stayed on the crackling flames as she examined one idea then discarded it and moved onto the next. Mathematical calculations and stellar phenomena were far from her area of expertise, but in the end it was just another problem to be solved, so she approached it as thus.
It was quite frustrating, though. With a sigh, she lifted a hand to rub at her eyes. "Perhaps the best hope for your return might be to recreate the conditions of your arrival," she finally theorized aloud, weariness creeping into her voice.
"That's what I was afraid you were going to say." He replied, another small flicker of a smile, this one more wry than actually amused, "Mostly because that's pretty much the only solution I could come up with."
BB-8 had, apparently, also been trying to work something out, just rocking slowly back and forth as if in thought, finally just hooting sadly in response, as if that was the only solution it had been able to come around to as well.
"I wish I had other resources to offer you," she said, forgetting for a moment that she was no longer in a position where anyone would even expect her to have such things. "If the Jedi were still--" But they weren't. The Jedi were all dead or in hiding, and her husband had played a part in that. Her expression wavered enough for her to look away, needing a few seconds to compose herself again.
"Just making sure I was inside before dark is plenty." He replied, "Means I'll still be able to try and figure things out in the morning." And maybe, just maybe, things would have corrected themselves by then without any input from either of them.
He doubted that one, but he could still hope for it all the same.
Just making sure he... But of course he wouldn't understand just how much she owed him for the gift he'd unknowingly given her. Even with the knowledge that she would have no place in their lives, her children would grow up. They had futures ahead of them that included a time of peace, and just knowing that would help her sleep at night.
"I couldn't just leave you out there," she rationalized. Looking to BB-8, she added, "Even with such a formidable protector."
BB-8 straightened, arc-welder flipping out and on just briefly, something that made Poe smile all over again, though he mostly managed to hide it behind a sip of tea, nodding solemnly a moment later, "I appreciate it all the same, who knows what kind of trouble we might have run into."
He set the cup of tea down to go retrieve the projector, popping it easily open to set it on the table, thumbing it on and smiling at the small starfield that all but erupted around them, "And this way maybe you can at least help figure out where we are in relation to where we were and where we were going."
That little droid really was incredibly endearing; she wouldn't want to face it in a fight, especially if it was protecting Poe. She could just tell that the affection they had for each other was completely mutual.
Standing, Padmé stepped back slightly to get her bearings, finding Coruscant and Naboo, still the anchors of her universe, before locating the tiny pinprick of light that was their sun. She had to move to the very edge of the map to reach it, lifting her hand to point at the location. "This is our system," she explained with a glance back at him.
He nodded at that, having moved as well to locate where they'd started from, "So this is where we were, Marveth. Bee, show me D'Qar?" The droid trundled forward again, chirping once and making the planet in question flash twice.
The three points were roughly equidistant from each other, which was the first thing Poe noticed, brow furrowing a little, "So, that's weird." His brow furrowed, glancing from one to the other and back, "And even just having gotten the coordinates reversed somehow wouldn't have done it. That would have sent us off..." He gestured towards the edge of the map nearest him, "Somewhere into the wilds."
It doesn't make any sense, but then why would it to her? "I wish I knew more of the science behind all of the variables at work here," Padmé lamented almost apologetically while studying the spaces between those pinpricks of light. "I'm afraid I won't be of much help with this part of the problem."
Which she did feel regretful about, truly. Finally she had the chance to do something important again, something to help someone that would matter, and instead she simply felt useless.
shh shh is fine (and omfg popover menu sorry about that)
Truthfully Poe didn't really have any better idea than she did how something like this could have happened, which was what had him moving carefully through the starfield, and through the room even as he said: "Bee, show me what the next ones in the sequence would be, here," A gesture to another point somewhat above the location of where they were, "And again here." Another point below where they'd intended to be, since while they were equidistant, the two ends were at an angle to each other, not quite a spiral because there weren't enough points for that, but definitely that angle.
He gave her another easy smile, "I don't really know either, not like this kind of thing has happened before, so throw a couple ideas, we'll see if anything sticks."
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Even after defeating the Empire, it wouldn't be over. There would be another thirty years of battles ahead, and who knew how many after that. The weight of it all threatened to crush her, and Padmé had to lean back against her seat to keep from feeling ill.
"I tried so hard to make the galaxy a better place," she said suddenly, more to herself than her companion. "To make it safer for my children." She gave a slight shake of her head, looking as utterly lost as she felt. "How could we have failed so terribly?"
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A soft huff, amused, but not really a laugh, "And General Organa likes saying that if you can only believe in the sun when it's shining, you'll never make it through the night."
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"General Organa?" She couldn't hide the effect the name had on her even if she tried. Immediately sitting up, she leaned across the space between them to grab Poe's arm, pleading with this man she'd only just met. "Do you mean Bail Organa of Alderaan?"
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Obi-Wan hadn't told her where he'd taken her children, the both of them agreeing it was safer that way, but it couldn't be a coincidence that Bail had a daughter sharing that name. Her dear friend had raised her child when she couldn't, and she would likely never be able to tell him how grateful she was.
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There were stories of how the flora there would ensnare anything that held still long enough, and he was hoping they were exaggerations.
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"Is her-- Does she have any other family?" Leia would be a grown woman well into middle-age when Poe knew her. Perhaps she would have a family of her own, or maybe, somehow, she and Luke would find each other. It was dangerous to do so, but she couldn't help asking after her second child.
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While on the one hand he didn't want to lie to her, he also didn't think that telling her everything would do her any good either, and so he told part of the truth, "Yeah, got married to a smuggler, well, I mean, he was a general at the time too. A lot of people were then. Their son Ben and I were practically inseparable as kids." A shrug, "Then I went off to the Republic Academy and he went off to train with Commander Skywalker and we haven't really been in contact since." Especially when all he knew was that 'something had happened' and Ben was either dead or lost, or, he was always hopeful, in hiding along with Luke.
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Commander Skywalker. Her children would find each other, then. There were no words to describe how much of a relief that was, or how it broke her heart to realize there had been no mention of her in Poe's description. She wasn't going to be a part of her children's lives then. But they would live, and she tried very hard to focus on that miraculous revelation.
"Thank you for telling me all of this," she said after a moment of silence, withdrawing fully back to her own chair and picking up her cup of tea again while something in her visibly closed off. The only way she could continue this conversation was to distance herself from both the pain and joy it had presented her. "How can I help you get back to your life, Poe?"
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He scrubbed a hand up over his face and through his hair, "We were on the wrong end of a dogfight, last-minute hyperspace calculation through a solar storm, or, well, solar loop, it wasn't really a storm. We were supposed to get to D'Qar and got here instead."
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It was quite frustrating, though. With a sigh, she lifted a hand to rub at her eyes. "Perhaps the best hope for your return might be to recreate the conditions of your arrival," she finally theorized aloud, weariness creeping into her voice.
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BB-8 had, apparently, also been trying to work something out, just rocking slowly back and forth as if in thought, finally just hooting sadly in response, as if that was the only solution it had been able to come around to as well.
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He doubted that one, but he could still hope for it all the same.
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"I couldn't just leave you out there," she rationalized. Looking to BB-8, she added, "Even with such a formidable protector."
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He set the cup of tea down to go retrieve the projector, popping it easily open to set it on the table, thumbing it on and smiling at the small starfield that all but erupted around them, "And this way maybe you can at least help figure out where we are in relation to where we were and where we were going."
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Standing, Padmé stepped back slightly to get her bearings, finding Coruscant and Naboo, still the anchors of her universe, before locating the tiny pinprick of light that was their sun. She had to move to the very edge of the map to reach it, lifting her hand to point at the location. "This is our system," she explained with a glance back at him.
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The three points were roughly equidistant from each other, which was the first thing Poe noticed, brow furrowing a little, "So, that's weird." His brow furrowed, glancing from one to the other and back, "And even just having gotten the coordinates reversed somehow wouldn't have done it. That would have sent us off..." He gestured towards the edge of the map nearest him, "Somewhere into the wilds."
only a decade late
Which she did feel regretful about, truly. Finally she had the chance to do something important again, something to help someone that would matter, and instead she simply felt useless.
shh shh is fine (and omfg popover menu sorry about that)
He gave her another easy smile, "I don't really know either, not like this kind of thing has happened before, so throw a couple ideas, we'll see if anything sticks."