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She can't be hearing this right. Despite watching him speak, hearing those words, everything is disjointed and jumbled in her mind. He loves-- But how? It takes her by complete surprise, because he'd always been a bit of a flirt but she'd never thought, not really, she'd never expected...
"That is the last thing I want," she assures him rather forcefully, unknowingly echoing his own thoughts. "I want you to be happy too, and I would never ask you for anything you didn't--" Reaching up to press fingers to her lips for a moment, she shakes her head and continues, feeling a bit like a ship at sea being tossed around by the storm of her emotions. "You're sure? You're not just saying this because you think I expect it? Because I don't, this wasn't part of the arrangement and I wouldn't ask it of you. You've already done so much for me, you've changed your entire life--"
She's rambling now, the words coming out frantically as she worries that's what this is. It's a tiny seed of doubt that has spiraled out of control and she wants so desperately for his words to be true that's she's almost terrified of hearing his answer.
"That is the last thing I want," she assures him rather forcefully, unknowingly echoing his own thoughts. "I want you to be happy too, and I would never ask you for anything you didn't--" Reaching up to press fingers to her lips for a moment, she shakes her head and continues, feeling a bit like a ship at sea being tossed around by the storm of her emotions. "You're sure? You're not just saying this because you think I expect it? Because I don't, this wasn't part of the arrangement and I wouldn't ask it of you. You've already done so much for me, you've changed your entire life--"
She's rambling now, the words coming out frantically as she worries that's what this is. It's a tiny seed of doubt that has spiraled out of control and she wants so desperately for his words to be true that's she's almost terrified of hearing his answer.
Watching her reaction, Obi-Wan relaxes slightly when her first impulse isn't to draw away or rebuff him. The idea she presents, that he might only be feeling this, or at least saying it, out of some obligation to her, brings back his amusement, and he has to press his lips together to keep his smile even partially subdued.
"I can assure you, Padmé, my feelings are my own, and the only influence you've had on them is by being yourself. I think..." his gaze shifts inadvertently as he contemplates, "I think eventually, if we had continued our friendship, I would have come to love you anyway - although I might not have faced my feelings, or felt the need to face them, as this situation we find ourselves in has required of me."
Taking a steadying breath, he takes a few steps towards her, though he maintains a distance between them that he hopes keeps her feeling comfortable-- as comfortable as this conversation allows, anyway. "My entire life is change. Always. This--" he waves a hand between them, "I wasn't expecting this situation, but it was always a possibility, for me. For any Jedi. My feelings are more unexpected, but I would not rid myself of them. Not..." He purses his lips. "Not even for you. And anything I do for you, I do of my own volition, not simply because you ask me and I feel obligated."
"I can assure you, Padmé, my feelings are my own, and the only influence you've had on them is by being yourself. I think..." his gaze shifts inadvertently as he contemplates, "I think eventually, if we had continued our friendship, I would have come to love you anyway - although I might not have faced my feelings, or felt the need to face them, as this situation we find ourselves in has required of me."
Taking a steadying breath, he takes a few steps towards her, though he maintains a distance between them that he hopes keeps her feeling comfortable-- as comfortable as this conversation allows, anyway. "My entire life is change. Always. This--" he waves a hand between them, "I wasn't expecting this situation, but it was always a possibility, for me. For any Jedi. My feelings are more unexpected, but I would not rid myself of them. Not..." He purses his lips. "Not even for you. And anything I do for you, I do of my own volition, not simply because you ask me and I feel obligated."
The more he explains, the harder it is for her to breathe, some part of her feeling like if she so much as blinks wrong this moment will shatter. This moment where so much promise has been laid before her and all she has to do is reach out and take it...
"I have feelings for you too," she informs him in a hushed voice, her gaze on his chest before slowly moving up to those beautiful eyes. The way he looked at her-- She can't return the confession he'd given her before, but she can be just as honest. "It isn't love, not yet, but... I think it will be. I want it to be."
"I have feelings for you too," she informs him in a hushed voice, her gaze on his chest before slowly moving up to those beautiful eyes. The way he looked at her-- She can't return the confession he'd given her before, but she can be just as honest. "It isn't love, not yet, but... I think it will be. I want it to be."
He'd thought-- he'd hoped, in light of some of their previous interactions, that that was the case. But hearing her say the words fills him with a lightness of heart that he isn't expecting.
He wants her to love him, too. Oh, how he wants it. But he refuses to tell her so, to lay that expectation on her. Just as she was fearing, he doesn't want her to feel obligated into trying to return feelings she doesn't have.
Obi-Wan gives her a slight bow. "I ask for nothing in return, Padmé. If you come to love me..." he smiles at her softly, a little bittersweet. "I would cherish and return it, of course. But as you said: I don't want you to ever feel obligated to me. Your friendship, and your happiness, is all that I want. Now that I've realized my feelings toward you, I don't think I could stop, no matter what happens between us."
He wants her to love him, too. Oh, how he wants it. But he refuses to tell her so, to lay that expectation on her. Just as she was fearing, he doesn't want her to feel obligated into trying to return feelings she doesn't have.
Obi-Wan gives her a slight bow. "I ask for nothing in return, Padmé. If you come to love me..." he smiles at her softly, a little bittersweet. "I would cherish and return it, of course. But as you said: I don't want you to ever feel obligated to me. Your friendship, and your happiness, is all that I want. Now that I've realized my feelings toward you, I don't think I could stop, no matter what happens between us."
She wants to love him so desperately, to have that happiness she'd never really known in any previous relationship. Before, she'd never been friends with her lovers, so there had always been something missing, but with Obi-Wan she felt safe and cared for and comfortable with him from the start. If they were together, she would never have reason to doubt him, nor he her, and they were already supporting each other far better than most traditionally married couples. To add love to their relationship seemed so incredibly natural.
"Do you know what would make me happiest right now?" She offers him a smile of her own and steps closer. "If you would kiss me." It wasn't a demand, or even a request, simply an opportunity she's fairly certain they've both been wishing for.
"Do you know what would make me happiest right now?" She offers him a smile of her own and steps closer. "If you would kiss me." It wasn't a demand, or even a request, simply an opportunity she's fairly certain they've both been wishing for.
Crafty, Obi-Wan thinks of her with a smile. He still takes just a moment to look at her, acknowledging the moment for the potential it has, in itself and to change their future.
He reaches up to gently cup her cheek, thinks of saying a half-dozen things and in the same instant discards them all. Instead he simply leans forward and presses his lips to hers. For all that the kiss might be called chaste, it's not short, and what it lacks in physicality, Obi-Wan shows Padmé just how deep his feelings for her are.
He reaches up to gently cup her cheek, thinks of saying a half-dozen things and in the same instant discards them all. Instead he simply leans forward and presses his lips to hers. For all that the kiss might be called chaste, it's not short, and what it lacks in physicality, Obi-Wan shows Padmé just how deep his feelings for her are.
The kiss is both excruciating and exquisite, everything she could want even as it brushes the surface of what they could have. That simple press of lips to her own sends her pulse racing and she wants to wrap herself up in him.
So she does. Pulling back for just a few agonizing seconds to catch her breath, she reaches up to hook a hand around the back of his neck to keep him in place as she tugs him in for another kiss, this one insistent with a hint of desperation. She wants this, she wants him, and this kiss is the best way she can think of to show him that.
So she does. Pulling back for just a few agonizing seconds to catch her breath, she reaches up to hook a hand around the back of his neck to keep him in place as she tugs him in for another kiss, this one insistent with a hint of desperation. She wants this, she wants him, and this kiss is the best way she can think of to show him that.
Obi-Wan barely has a chance to catch his own breath from the surprising feelings kissing her evoked, before he finds himself pulled back and kissing Padmé again.
This is something he's much more familiar with, and easily shifts against her, wrapping an arm low around her waist even as he takes a step forward until her back is pressed against the counter. The hand that was cupping her cheek he stretches out, tangling his fingers in her hair.
This is something he's much more familiar with, and easily shifts against her, wrapping an arm low around her waist even as he takes a step forward until her back is pressed against the counter. The hand that was cupping her cheek he stretches out, tangling his fingers in her hair.
Her own hands clutch at his shoulder and neck as she stretches up on her toes to better reach him. The feeling of the counter at her back makes her gasp against his mouth and pull him even closer, not caring one bit that some might say this is a little fast for a new relationship. They're already married and the both of them are intelligent adults; they can set their own pace. If right now that pace happens to be faster than the jump to hyperspace, then so be it.
Obi-Wan shifts until his thigh slides between her legs, moving his mouth away from hers to press open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and neck, sucking and scraping his teeth against her delicate skin. When he reaches her ear he pauses briefly before nibbling on it to breathe, "Padmé..."
The sounds she makes at the attention he gives her fluctuate between breathy moans and tiny pleading whines, her hands roaming over his shoulders while she tries very hard not to climb her way up him. It's difficult, though, so incredibly difficult when mere kisses and the sound of her own name can make her feel like this.
"Tell me what you want, Obi-Wan," she insists, using only a fraction of her Senatorial tone because frankly it's all she can manage. One hand slips beneath his collar, nails scraping gently as she caresses the skin there.
"Tell me what you want, Obi-Wan," she insists, using only a fraction of her Senatorial tone because frankly it's all she can manage. One hand slips beneath his collar, nails scraping gently as she caresses the skin there.
Shuddering at the feel of her nails and hearing her voice, Obi-Wan shifts to press his forehead against her neck, huffing out a laugh. "I'm-- fairly certain if we just-- keep going, we'll get there," he says haltingly, letting his hand slide from her back along her side and up, boldly coming to rest on the swell of her breast, his thumb stroking over her nipple through the fabric.
In the next instant, he shifts to murmur in her ear, "Let me take you to bed."
In the next instant, he shifts to murmur in her ear, "Let me take you to bed."
That touch fuels the fire burning within her and she arches against him, pressing herself more fully against him and squirming against the delicious length of him. He could have gotten her to agree to just about anything at that moment, but this--
"Yes," she practically purrs at his request before reaching down to take a handful of his shirt in her hand and give it a firm tug. "Now, please." Impatience, thy name is Padmé.
"Yes," she practically purrs at his request before reaching down to take a handful of his shirt in her hand and give it a firm tug. "Now, please." Impatience, thy name is Padmé.
Her insistence matches how he feels, and something about the entire situation, despite being very serious, makes Obi-Wan start to laugh, even as he presses a kiss to Padmé's lips. "Your wish is my command, m'lady," he murmurs without pulling away, their lips brushing together with each word.
Regretfully, he has to reposition them both, shifting to sweep an arm behind her knees while he supports her back in a classic carry. She's no longer pressed against the length of him, but he uses the reprieve to gather some control, so this encounter isn't shorter than it should be.
The trip to the bedroom is swift, and he sets Padmé down in front of the bed, claiming another kiss as he does so.
Regretfully, he has to reposition them both, shifting to sweep an arm behind her knees while he supports her back in a classic carry. She's no longer pressed against the length of him, but he uses the reprieve to gather some control, so this encounter isn't shorter than it should be.
The trip to the bedroom is swift, and he sets Padmé down in front of the bed, claiming another kiss as he does so.
Later, Padmé won't remember exactly how all their various pieces of clothing ended up where they did, or exactly how much of the morning they spent exploring this new part of their relationship, but those details just don't seem that important as she lays in Obi-Wan's arms, her fingertips tracing lazy patterns on his chest while they both catch their breath.
Stretching out her legs that still feel weak and unsteady, she settles further into the plush pillows. "I feel the need to inform you, my dear Jedi, that you are very good at that," she tells him quietly, her voice a little husky from how frequently she'd vocalized her appreciation of his skills.
Stretching out her legs that still feel weak and unsteady, she settles further into the plush pillows. "I feel the need to inform you, my dear Jedi, that you are very good at that," she tells him quietly, her voice a little husky from how frequently she'd vocalized her appreciation of his skills.
It's those words that finally make her pause in her work, hands lowering to her lap as she looks up at him in concern and just a hint of fear. He's living in such a place that his home might not even be safe? The idea of anything happening to him and the fact that she would never even know -- it terrifies her.
"Obi-Wan, I know you can take care of yourself, but please, please be careful." Her voice is tense, emotions pulled tight. "If anything were to happen to you, I couldn't bear it."
"Obi-Wan, I know you can take care of yourself, but please, please be careful." Her voice is tense, emotions pulled tight. "If anything were to happen to you, I couldn't bear it."
His eyes soften as he hears the emotion in her words, and he sends her a calm smile. "I've fought a war before, if you'll recall; a few locals won't get the best of me."
Obi-Wan shakes his head in silent apology; he should be thankful that she's worried about him, that he has anyone left to worry about him, even as he wonders how much of her concern is for him, and how much is for her only link to the past, and her children. He can't help but feel responsible for the predicament they're in now. If he'd only known how to better handle Anakin, maybe...
"It's not me you should worry about," he says, gently rebuking, "but my wares. The scavengers wouldn't harm me - I'm an occasional customer, and if I die, they wouldn't have any more items to try and steal."
Obi-Wan shakes his head in silent apology; he should be thankful that she's worried about him, that he has anyone left to worry about him, even as he wonders how much of her concern is for him, and how much is for her only link to the past, and her children. He can't help but feel responsible for the predicament they're in now. If he'd only known how to better handle Anakin, maybe...
"It's not me you should worry about," he says, gently rebuking, "but my wares. The scavengers wouldn't harm me - I'm an occasional customer, and if I die, they wouldn't have any more items to try and steal."
If she knew that's where his thoughts had drifted, she would be furious with him. Yes, there is a small part of her worry that is for those connections to her past and her children, but more than that, he's her friend. They'd been through horrible and wonderful things together, and she would miss him far more than any mere reminder of the life she'd left behind.
"I'll always worry about you," she counters softly, her gaze falling back to the material in her hands. "I care about you, I can't not worry. During the war, I was terrified every time you and Ani left on a mission."
He's not the only one at fault for what happened to Anakin, she'd been married to him and done nothing to stop his fall. She should have seen the signs for what they were instead of just brushing them aside.
"I'll always worry about you," she counters softly, her gaze falling back to the material in her hands. "I care about you, I can't not worry. During the war, I was terrified every time you and Ani left on a mission."
He's not the only one at fault for what happened to Anakin, she'd been married to him and done nothing to stop his fall. She should have seen the signs for what they were instead of just brushing them aside.
Huffing a breathy chuckle, Obi-Wan draws his fingers up Padmé's spine, enjoying the feel of her body in his arms. He's not really sure how to respond to the compliment, though; oh, if it were an ordinary sexual encounter he'd give some glib thanks at the praise, perhaps make a joke about Jedi prowess. But...
Obi-Wan finds he doesn't want to cheapen the moment. It was sex (and quite enjoyable sex, at that), but it feels like more. It was a turning point for them - or at least for him - and now that he has the chance to really think on everything, he finds himself floundering in uncharted waters.
While his mind is going over the ramifications of this, his mouth decides to engage on its own. "You were wonderful as well, I assure you." His voice is soft and sincere, but there's a distracted quality that shows he's thinking of other things.
Obi-Wan finds he doesn't want to cheapen the moment. It was sex (and quite enjoyable sex, at that), but it feels like more. It was a turning point for them - or at least for him - and now that he has the chance to really think on everything, he finds himself floundering in uncharted waters.
While his mind is going over the ramifications of this, his mouth decides to engage on its own. "You were wonderful as well, I assure you." His voice is soft and sincere, but there's a distracted quality that shows he's thinking of other things.
She smiles at the reassurance, but does notice that hint of distraction, something just slightly off catching her attention. Slipping her hand from his chest up to his cheek, she smooths the pad of her thumb along that wonderfully bearded jawline, the soft hairs tickling her skin.
"What is it?" she asks him gently, brow slightly furrowed. Her thoughts dance over the question of whether he regrets this step between them, but she discards it as quickly as it appeared; he'd wanted this as much as she, there's no doubt of that in her.
"What is it?" she asks him gently, brow slightly furrowed. Her thoughts dance over the question of whether he regrets this step between them, but she discards it as quickly as it appeared; he'd wanted this as much as she, there's no doubt of that in her.
If the two of them could just harness their guilt as a productive energy, they could probably topple the newly-instated Galactic Empire all by themselves. And Obi-Wan, at this point in time, hears not what she's trying to convey, but a recrimination, however unintentional (and he's aware if Padmé wanted to rebuke him, she would not couch it so nicely): I didn't trust you to keep Anakin safe during the war. His own guilt puts meaning to her words she didn't intend, and only feeds itself. He was self-centered, arrogant, and didn't pay attention to his apprentice-turned-comrade, his brother-in-arms.
The questioning of previous actions and inaction is nothing new to him now, and Obi-Wan tries to push it back; he will return to these thoughts, he knows, but now is not the time. He gives Padmé a bittersweet smile. "I assure you, m'lady, I will be all right. I appreciate your concern, but don't worry about me overmuch. If this whole ordeal has proved anything, it's that I am, above all else, a survivor."
It's not a trait he's particularly proud of, since it inherently means there were others who didn't survive, whom he couldn't save.
The questioning of previous actions and inaction is nothing new to him now, and Obi-Wan tries to push it back; he will return to these thoughts, he knows, but now is not the time. He gives Padmé a bittersweet smile. "I assure you, m'lady, I will be all right. I appreciate your concern, but don't worry about me overmuch. If this whole ordeal has proved anything, it's that I am, above all else, a survivor."
It's not a trait he's particularly proud of, since it inherently means there were others who didn't survive, whom he couldn't save.
Her touch draws Obi-Wan out of his thoughts enough that he looks down at her, and he regrets that his ruminations have made her question any of this.
The smile he gives her is slight, and tinged with both awe and trepidation. "I love you." He says it as an explanation in itself, but goes on to elaborate, "This is a wholly new territory for me. I--" he laughs at himself, incredulous. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now. It's slightly terrifying."
The smile he gives her is slight, and tinged with both awe and trepidation. "I love you." He says it as an explanation in itself, but goes on to elaborate, "This is a wholly new territory for me. I--" he laughs at himself, incredulous. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now. It's slightly terrifying."
That interpretation of her words would have gotten him absolutely throttled, so it's quite a good thing that it wasn't conveyed to her. They had been fighting in a war, constantly running off to one battle zone or another, and she'd feared for all of them simply for that fact alone.
"Just because one survives doesn't mean they're alive." She was proof of that. This thing she's doing on this small backwater planet isn't living, it's merely existing. Surviving with no drive or purpose, no reason to get up each day other than necessity. This isn't life, and she's little more than a ghost of who she once was now.
"Just because one survives doesn't mean they're alive." She was proof of that. This thing she's doing on this small backwater planet isn't living, it's merely existing. Surviving with no drive or purpose, no reason to get up each day other than necessity. This isn't life, and she's little more than a ghost of who she once was now.
Hearing him say those words... They're such simple things, each meaningless on their own, mere everyday occurrences, but when strung together by a particular person, they have the power to change the world. Her world has been irrevocably altered as well as his, and she wouldn't change that for anything.
"It is quite terrifying," she agrees, running her hand down his arm. "But I don't regret it. I want you in my life in every way possible, even if I don't know yet how that will actually work. But we'll figure it out, together." There's a conviction in her voice that shines through, the same strength that stands out in everything she sets her mind to.
"It is quite terrifying," she agrees, running her hand down his arm. "But I don't regret it. I want you in my life in every way possible, even if I don't know yet how that will actually work. But we'll figure it out, together." There's a conviction in her voice that shines through, the same strength that stands out in everything she sets her mind to.
Obi-Wan nods at the wisdom of her words. "No," he agrees, "but it does mean that someday, if one continues to survive, one might live again, to serve a purpose." He's quiet for a moment, before adding, "I think perhaps we're chrysalises. Trapped inside a tiny shell, transitioning between one phase of life and the next. Perhaps the next will be more beautiful, or at least more meaningful."
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